Abortion Incorporated Honors “Social Justice Sisters”

July 27, 2010

Progressive Catholics must take responsibility for federal funding of abortion

Planned Parenthood recently honored abortion heroine Nancy Pelosi for her success in passing legislation that will dramatically expand abortion on demand in America, and provide federal funding of abortions, under the guise of “healthcare reform”.

Apparently inspired by the fact that in creating this incredible windfall for the abortion industry Speaker Pelosi lied to every citizen in America, from members of her own party to the bishops of her church, Planned Parenthood created a brand new award for “practicing Catholic” Pelosi, the Champion of Women’s Health Award. “She’s walked across hot coals for us” beamed PP President Cecile Richards.

sister-simone-campbell-2 And a windfall it will be with newly created Obamacare “high risk insurance pools” in PA, MD, and NM already accessing $5 billion dollars in federal taxpayer funds to provide coverage for elective abortions. Guess who will be preforming most of those abortions.

But Planned Parenthood has done a great disservice in not also recognizing the duplicitous efforts of a group of dedicated progressive Catholics who were instrumental in bringing home that wonderful windfall – the “Social Justice Sisters”. Last night, Abortion Incorporated rectified this ungrateful lack of recognition.

Abortion Incorporated (or Ab Inc) is our term for the coalition of clinics, doctors, referral services and interest groups that comprise the billion dollar business that is abortion in America. RadiantCross.org has inadvertently received what is purported to be a partial transcript of Ab Inc’s annual awards banquet.

Transcript Begins

Tonight it is only fitting that we begin by honoring, with a vintage Cristal toast, President Barack Obama who has provided an incredible return on Abortion Incorporated’s investment in his 2008 campaign. Mr Obama is, without doubt, the most incredible “Rainmaker” (wink, wink – crowd laughs and applauds heartily) our industry has ever known (speaker raises glass on high, crowd cheers). The president will, of course, be Ab Inc’s Man Of The Year for the third year running! (band strikes up For He’s A Jolly Good Fellow, crowd chugs Cristal)

Alright, easy folks, we don’t want things to get out of hand like last year- those blow up dolls made up to look like Henry Waxman and Bella Abzug? At Least Not This Early! Right? (sporadic yells and whistles).

Seriously friends, what inspires me most about our friend in the White House are his resilience and cunning. Despite his many successes on our behalf, the president was not able to deliver on the big enchilada, the Freedom Of Choice Act. There just weren’t the cajones in congress for that one. (sporadic boos)

So what happens? Did our guy come running to me whining “Godfather, Godfather, what can I do?” No! He acted like the man we bought and paid for. “Godfather”, he reassured me, “don’t worry. Leave everything to me. I’ll take care of everything”.

And bang! Outta’ nowhere, big Nancy, little Harry and that well preserved Health And Human Services babe smuggle a good many of the provisions of FOCA into a 2,000 page – get this – healthcare reform bill. Nancy and Harry managed to bribe and threaten the thing through congress before anyone could even read it. (standing ovation, champagne bottles pop) This one’s to us folks! (raises glass, more Cristal down the hatch) It pays to buy the best. And I ain’t talkin’ about the champagne! (riotous laughter)

But it was a close one. As you all know, our forsworn enemy the Catholic Church narrowly derailed the whole thing. Their bishops had us cold on the abortion subterfuge and sent a letter saying so to every member of congress. Anti-abortion Catholics, democrats if you can believe it, were gonna block the bill without airtight language prohibiting the use of federal funds to cover abortions. I mean where are our customers gonna get that kind of money these days without Uncle? Right?

sister-carol-keehan-biden We needed someone on the inside, inside the Catholic Church, to throw it our way. Well Nanc’, you know, “practicing Catholic” (holds up fingers in quote signs as crowd laughs) Nancy Pelosi? Big Nancy puts in the fix. Nanc’ gets a hold of a couple of big name progressive Catholic social workers, sisters not nuns, and tells them that the bishops have it all wrong. There ain’t any expansion of abortion coverage in the healthcare bill and absolutely no federal funding of abortion. “You wanna’ help the uninsured don’t you” Nancy asks – as if that actually had anything to do with it. “You’re for social justice aren’t you sisters?”

Bingo! They’re hooked. Nanc’ knows that, like her, these progressive social justice sisters have little use for the bishops and are always on the look out for an opportunity to show them up. So they’re happy to take big Nancy’s word on no abortion in the bill and come out with a statement repudiating their own bishops and encouraging Catholics to support Obamacare.

The rest is history and the money from Uncle is already starting to flow to clinics in Pennsylvania, Maryland and New Mexico. So I think it behooves us tonight to honor the two most prominent social justice sisters who led the way in overcoming Catholic concerns stirred up by the US Conference Of Catholic Bishops’ warning on abortion in the healthcare reform bill. Sister Carol Keehan, of the Catholic Healthcare Association, and Sister Simone Campbell, Executive Director of NETWORK, a social justice lobby which claimed (laughing) to represent 59,000 nuns supporting Obamacare. Oh, right on sisters! (more Cristal, wild cheering, one loud burp)

We couldn’t reasonably expect the good sisters to join us tonight, so I present, in absentia, our newly created Abortion Incorporated Champion Of Social Justice At Any Cost Award to Sister Carol Keehan and Sister Simone Campbell. (scattered polite applause, two glasses drop and shatter)

Thank you sisters, (speech starting to slur) from the bottom of our, uh, greedy little hearts. (slight giggle) Tonight the many arms of Abortion Incorporated can look forward to unparalleled prosper, uh, prosper-ity in the years to come, thanks in large part to your blind, uh, commitments to social justice. Whatever that is.

At any rate business is gonna be good. We’ll probably have to stick another dumpster behind each clinic. (dead silence)

Transcript Ends